Laid off OCOT inspectors offered enforcement jobs on U.S. southern border

We hope you enjoyed this April Fool’s story for 2019!

One concern expressed by the Ontario government surrounding the eventual winding down of the Ontario College of Trades, has been the future of the site inspectors. Contractors across the province have become familiar with these highly trained commandos storming building sites across the province for the past several years demanding ID’s and certification papers.

OCOT inspectors have earned a reputation among U.S. ICE agents for their take-no-prisoners approach to work site raids

Many trades who continue to be forced to pay annual tribute to OCOT have questioned why the College continues to collect fees if the bureaucratic institution is to be imminently closed. One answer has been that severance must be paid to staff as they are let go.

However, there now appears to be a brighter future for soon-to-be-laid off OCOT site inspectors. The U.S. Immigration Customs Enforcement, better known as ICE, has offered immediate employment for former OCOT site inspectors willing to do what it takes. “They have the exact skill sets and training background we’re always looking for,” said Marj Lebarge-Patterson, ICE’s director of Recruitment. “These OCOT inspectors up your way come with a reputation that precedes them. And boy, we can sure use them along our southern border!”

Lebarge-Patterson explained that ICE is very short of trained inspectors to storm the numerous factories, warehouses and restaurants along the U.S. –Mexico border that hire undocumented workers from Central America. “We got us a lot of illegals down here, and not enough manpower to locate them and kick them the hell out,” she said. “What we like about those OCOT inspectors is that they are not your typical mamby-pamby, please-and-thank-you Canadians we see all the time on holidays. They don’t say ‘Sorry’ or ‘Excuse me’ either. That’s the tough, inconsiderate attitude we really appreciate down here.”

It is not clear exactly how many positions are open at ICE for their enforcement teams, but Lebarge-Patterson said that she’d entertain almost all who are willing to locate. “The only thing they’ll need is some enhanced weapons training,” she added. “I understand they’re comfortable with flame throwers, but we likely will have get ‘em familiar with grenade launchers and anti-tank guns.”

Any relocation costs will apparently be paid by the Ontario government in lieu of severance, a Ministry spokesman told Canadian Contractor. “We’re so happy that we can help keep our American cousins safe on their southern border, the way we kept workplaces safe up here in Ontario.”