Canadian Contractor

Steve Payne   

The Grinch Who Stole From Tradespeople

Canadian Contractor

A poem based on Dr. Seuss's "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas," by Garfield Dunlop, Ontario MPP for Simcoe-North. Garfield is the PC party's Skilled Trades and Apprenticeship Critic. Much better than that, however, he's a fully-licensed, working plumber.

THE GRINCH WHO STOLE FROM TRADESPEOPLE

 

By Dr. Garfield Seuss

(Actually Garfield Dunlop,

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Ontario MPP for Simcoe North,

a licensed plumber.)

Every Tradesperson
down in Trades-ville
liked Christmas a lot…
But the Grinch,
who worked at the College of Trades very far from Trades-ville,
did not!
The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Don’t ask why, though, no one quite knows the reason.
But, whatever the reason, he stood in his office
staring down from his Bay Street tower
with a sour, Grinchy glower.
For he knew every Tradesperson in Trades-ville was hard at work,
so they could buy Christmas presents from smiling store clerks.
“They’re shopping at the Eaton Centre!” he snarled with a sneer.
“Next week is Christmas! It’s practically here!”
Furiously he paced, his Grinchy fingers nervously drumming.
“I MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!”
And then he got an idea…
An awful, Grinchy idea!
“I know just what to do!” the Grinch said, smiling for the first time all day.
“I’ll make it so Tradespeople can’t afford presents, they’ll have a new tax to pay!”
So off he went to Trades-ville,
and knocked on the doors.
He began collecting $120 from each Tradesperson,
and soon the whole village was poor.
“Our parents can’t afford presents!” cried Little Tommy Trade.
And Little Tommy began pleading for anyone, even the Premier, to come to their aid.
But the Grinch was on a roll,
no one was willing to say stop.
Soon he started making up laws on a whim
and closing down barber shops.
So with one week ’till Christmas,
Tradespeople are pleading,
If the College keeps taxing and regulating us
it will keep our businesses from succeeding!
And unlike the residents of Who-ville,
who got a happy ending…
This Christmas only the Grinch is happy
and the unions he’s befriending!
The End
“This year the Ontario College of Trades was a grinch for hardworking tradespeople in the province of Ontario as it hit them with an unnecessary, costly trades tax. Unlike Dr. Seuss’ Grinch, the Liberal government and the College are not doing the right thing, which is to stand up for the tradespeople and stop the trades tax,” said Garfield Dunlop, PC critic for Skilled Trades and Apprenticeship Reform, and MPP for Simcoe North. “In 2014, we will continue our fight for the Liberal government to abolish the College of Trades and its trades tax.”
For further information, contact:
Garfield Dunlop, MPP, 705-326-3246

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